twitter has never really for me because of the 140 character limit thingy-curtailing my ideas into stringent semi paragraph that will not portray my true intended purpose that seems like a balk. well, that is that.
so before twitter, we practically blogged about things. down to each detail of what we have for breakfast, description of must-see movies that make it all obligatory for the readers to actually move their lazy bumps and purchase the tickets of the said cine. are u up to my drift just yet? but we, i mean myself rarely blog about those things anymore potentially owing to below reasons;
1) i am more self-guarded or thought-guarded, unlike a decade ago where i was more of a conceited individual that used to think that life is a one way street; either my way or nothing at all.
2) being adult. well, with responsibilities that are piling up like mount everest, it’s not hard to persuade oneself that you have better things to attend to.
anyways, lets put an end of cooking excuses cuz i am, without doubt, good at it.
back to blogging; and continuation of previous post. it’s true though. i had lived in the era where people emitted their thoughts without compressing to 140 characters/words per post/entry or a short, succinct description based on a picture (read:instagram) at which it should be brief. however, as usual, most people cannot keep up with so many accounts of social media, therefore, they tend to post a picture on instagram with a long drawn-out caption and that.. erm… galls me. well besides malfunction escalator. so yeah, there were times when i felt knowing a fragment of a person and picking her/his brain when i read what they dis/honestly published, be it it was the truth or otherwise. the shawshank redemption was one of movies i downloaded based on review obtained from one of my frequent blogsites.
a few unnamed bloggers that i devotedly follow and even dig up their old posts till now is for the rhythm of their writing. excepting of the formal published novels and short stories,their writing was at par. only it felt more real because it revolved around daily mundane routine without tinge of hyperbolic description.
ngantuk lah.. good night!
well i have this odd habit of digging the old posts and read them to the beginning of time. few causes that leads to this is due to
1) i have wordpress app installed in my phone. i swiped my apps just now thinking that i havent written anything in a while so why i shall give it a go.
2) currently waiting for my sister from the toilet. and oh, …seeing her face emerging from the crowd now…
i took a phone call from my other sister and puff (!) my ideas are gone. hence i shall end this with abruptly and write whenever i feel like to okay.
Yesterday I watched a few clips from Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge and realized with solid dream of going to Switzerland alone and a lot of mercy by Allah that I reached there. It made me realize where determination could really lead you. Then, my thoughts fly to deceased Wan and Abah who were extremely supportive in every decision in my life. And that thought led to another thought of how they brought us up to stand on our own feet. I can never say enough thank you and forever indebted to my parents and grandparents for that.
Once I read about how you capture memories in songs. Like now. Listening to DDLJ songs brought so much good memories from my childhood. Preparing for UPSR tuition classes, dreams and hopes that I had as a kid, went out from school to see Wan (grandfather) who would patiently wait for me outside the school compound be it rain or shine,tok’s smiles welcoming me from home, tea session with my parents, storybooks that Abah would bring home and took me bookstores to buy new ones. I’ve had wonderful memories growing up.
What about now?
I’m still that kid who got excited towards new things but also dream less. I cannot fake determination as much as I cannot fake passion. I know what I want but I know at times the determination is not there because I got lazy. My eyes are not constantly on the target.
Because I reached my comfort zone eventhough it’s not that comfort.
Well that is something to think about. Hmm….
that’s the thing about hooking up with… tv series.
you . cannot. stop.
so i spent hours of my sunday doing just one thing, watching Gossip Girl. well, i have to give thumbs up to the scriptwriter because the dialogues in that movie is good. as good as one tree hill. hmm another marathon for that one is needed too. besides, who would forget the charming smile of lucas scott? who would and ever will?
i’m not sure if blogging is still relevant as a way or measure to pour my thoughts out and make me feel automatically better afterward, but i guess it helps in a way. i had a thought on friendship while watching one of the episode this evening about how lonely boy became the only boy in the crowd where there are too many people he still feels alone? i guess we all are at times. besides respect, trust is earned. you cannot fake trust especially to other people. at least i know i could not and still can’t. but at the same time, i am not asking people around to earn my trust, it happens naturally.
maybe because of this i don’t really talk about deep problems with a lot of people. to think back, when i have my downtime, in terms of human being, the very first person that i would go talk to was my mother and then me as in myself. from there, i sort all out what the problem is all about and should i be sad about it or not. i know it’s cliche and sound motivational but it is extremely important to know own self and decide what is best for you. no worries, i will not leave god out of equation because He’s in every step of the way, it’s just a matter of awareness or not. i hope we all do. i understand now why self reliance is very much important because when we deal with something that we cannot just snap our finger and change the situation, we have to rely on our own self and be responsible for it.
tomorrow is a new day and i am one day closer to the expiry date. scare much, reading that sentence. i know it’s scary but it’s a fact.
okay.. going to perform my isyak prayer now..
Always reminds me of a crush i had with Fina while we were in high school. Yeah, shared the same crush weyh. So limited to to meet a guy because we were in all girls boarding school, let alone like potentially handsome boys back then. You just had to make-do. Kongsi pun kongsilah. Lols
Lame, i know.
I have to pen this down because this song is rarely on my playlist and when there is, my mind floating to that one point of time in my life. The good old days despite the struggles i had to endure to get all As in SPM. Speaking of priorities in life back then. Nevertheless i admit i kinda enjoy my life in highschool. I was not the brightest student not the paling corot jugak, okaylah nak hidup and secured the only scholarship i ever aimed for since i was 14. Well, when your close friends study, that motivated myself to study too. Hehe.. and who am i kidding. I had my aim set to pursue my studies in the uk all along. Hence, masa mula2 masuk utp terasa tar jalan dari pintu depan tu boulevard of broken dreams je. Okay that saves for another entry, if i ever have the will and focus and time to write about that.
Now, it’s about this one particular boy we had crush on. He had us at the first beat. Oh wait. I did not listen when he played the drum. Rephrase, he had Fina for his look and how he was drumming the tune of that song and he had me for his look too and knowing for a fact he was a drummer make me go all wow. Plus, we wanted to spice up our daily conversation besides “eh you dah cover chapter tu?”
Ahh the good golden days of being a teenager. That reminds me i have one of the many dyadreams (sometimes they are my life goals) i have wanted to pursue all along. Wish me luck. Only god knows, 50% chances i’d be leaving to Scotland next year on this day.
Then I can do Prague. Pragueeeeeeeeeeee weh. One city that i long to see but always slip from me even after 2 freaking eurotrip. Doakan i guyssssss and girlsss.
I hope for the best. So need to gather myself and work for that.
Oh god. This sounds so motivational already.
1.I knew a friend that is so humble that i read his status, i cave in. Through my eyes, he achieved high points at so different levels and yet he’s so humble. That kind of sincere humble.
2. I am willing to do more, to achieve more.